The Glory We Can't See Behind The Trials
Although we were blessed with this incredible life and an incredible God, sometimes life can be hard. Until the day we arrive at those wonderful heavenly gates, we live in a broken world, as imperfect people, and sometimes life goes terribly wrong. Sometimes things happen to us that we don't understand, things that bring us pain and disappointment, things that seem impossible to overcome. Sometimes we are looking up to the sky wondering what Jesus could possibly be doing and how something so terrible could ever be a part of the plan for our lives.
Earlier today I found myself low on hope after a long journey of disappointment and pain over the last few years. I find myself in my own situation of heartbreak today that has left me wondering what the Lord could possibly be doing or how he could possibly bring glory from this situation. A situation that has left me wondering why I would have to suffer something like this once again and left me feeling uncertain if I could trust the Lord with whatever it is that He is doing.
Have you ever felt that? I know I have. Multiple times. Sometimes along the way of this crazy, wonderful journey with the Lord, our hearts are wrecked, our plans are stopped, our lives are flipped upside down, everything seems to be going wrong.. and satan loves to use this opportunity to speak lies into our thoughts. We suddenly find ourselves faced with the questions:
Does God actually know what He's doing? Can I really trust Him after He's let something so terrible happen to me? How can there be a good God if things like this could happen in the world? God, why would you do this to me, why would you let this happen?
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."Romans 8:17-18
Earlier today in-between classes I took a study break and as I was checking my social media, I was randomly led to tears by a post on Facebook. For those of you who don't know me, my family has been a foster family for about 2 years now and last year we were given the most amazing little girl who we cherished deeply. She had a hard background and had already been through so much at such a young age and was in the foster care program for quite some time. This morning a couple who is now some of our close friends posted a picture at the courthouse where this precious child whom they love deeply and fully, had been adopted today into their family. She went from not having a home or family or parents or anything solid in her life, to the Lord providing her with an incredible, loving and God-fearing family who will love her and provide for her and call her their own.
This really hit home for me. Part of the tears that were forming in my eyes came out of a place of complete joy for our amazing little one, but the other part came from a much deeper place. For those of you who do not know my testimony you are more than welcome to read it under my testimony page, but a short portion of it is that when I was very young my parents separated and growing up I went back and fourth between a loving, godly home at my moms to a very corrupted and abusive home at my dads. Some of the worst pains and the worst memories i've ever had come from that home and although the Lord has released me from that pain, that kind of deep suffering is not something you forget easily. When I was in 5th grade my father gave up full rights to my sister and I, leaving us fatherless. Leaving me rejected, unwanted and unprotected. And honestly left my little heart broken and shattered knowing that my daddy did not want me and I was not good enough to keep him around.
BUT, the reason for my tears is the second part to this story. Bear with me.
The cool thing about God is that whenever something really awful happens that you never expected or that you did but just hoped that it wouldn't, whenever it seems like God isn't there or couldn't be a good, sovereign God, or that the weight of what happened is too much to go on.. Jesus is constantly working on our behalf behind the scenes. Preparing us for glory.
During this time of one of the worst trials of my life, God brought us Bob. Bob is the guy my mom remarried and just so happens to be the absolute coolest. During the pain and suffering we had to deal with from our biological father, Bob came into our lives and became our step-father for quite some time and loved my sister and I like we were his own. Losing my father at that age seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It brought about pain that I could hardly bear. It was something I didn't understand and something I couldn't fathom how the Lord would let me go through something like that. Yet I had an incredible mother and grandparents who kept pointing my eyes to the Lord.. and with the little faith I had I trusted Him.
I sat in tears earlier today and now as i'm writing this because I was reminded that when hope seemed lost, as I was broken to my core, when I was alone and abandoned.. Jesus was there. Right there with me. What seemed like the worst thing that could possibly happen to me ended up being the best thing. The Lord took me away from such a toxic and hateful home and relationship and brought Bob into our lives, a gentle, kind, and God-fearing man and father. A little bit down the road, Bob adopted my sister and I as our father, and he has been my dad ever since. He has loved me, cherished me, taught me, pushed me, held me accountable, provided for me and above all protected me and consistently points me back to Jesus and pushes me to be the best version of myself that I can be.
I sit here writing to you humbled, in awe and in complete reverence over the fact that I am so broken.. I am so unworthy and I am so flawed.. Yet I have a God who chooses me every day. I have a love that is consistent and strong when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. When I was broken and shattered and helpless, as I cried out for God he came to my rescue. I have lived a life far from perfect and have fallen in ways I hoped I never would, yet He is still here, still providing, still protecting and always holding my heart.
As I am currently facing my own battles and disappointment, I was reminded by that story of the God that we serve.
When things go wrong, when life is hard and when we are broken, satan loves to come around and breed thoughts about the Lord that are the farthest thing from the truth. He leads us to believe that the Lord isn't good, that He's not right there with us. He leads us to believe that our Lord is weak, that He won't provide and that He chose to make us suffer. That He brought this pain into our lives and doesn't have a plan in all of this and friends... I am telling you, every single one of the things I just listed is a LIE.
So let me go ahead and spit some truth out to ya:
Our God is an active, powerful, mighty and loving savior that is consistent and sovereign and loves us deeper than we could ever fathom. Our God is a powerful and courageous god that goes before us and fights for our lives even when we don't deserve it, even when we don't ask for it. He is our mighty protection and our great shield when we run to Him for comfort. Regardless of who we are or what we have done or how far we have fallen, He extends His righteous right hand and pulls us out of our pit and embraces us back into His arms where he provides us with the complete peace and fullness of God. Our God does not cause us pain or brings about strife in our lives but instead takes our brokenness and our shame and our pain and our terrible situations and uses it to turn it into His glory in our lives!
And the even greater thing I was reminded of today is that the Lord ALWAYS has a plan. Even when it seems like hope is lost or that you don't understand, He always is behind the scenes, working on our behalf, preparing us to the glory that is to come.
I don't know who you are or what is going on in your life but what I do know is that God does.. and that He is right there with you. What I do know is that regardless of what we are facing right now, when we put our faith in the Lord, He shows up and He pulls through EVERY time. All we have to do is trust Him. Today I was reminded that there has not been a single trial or hardship in my life where the Lord has not been working out His glory behind the scenes, I just wasn't able to see it at the time. If that is you, even though you may not be able to see it, He IS working in your life, right now, fighting for you and preparing you for something incredible and unimaginable as well.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31
"And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." -Isaiah 58:11
"But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” -1 Cor. 2:9
When the road ahead is unclear and we don't know where to go or what to do, when we are in pain and broken and don't understand.. we can stand firm in the fact that our God is fighting for us and working out something greater than we could ever imagine for those who put their trust in Him. We can stand firm in the fact that even though we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though we have no idea what the Lord could possibly be doing in our lives.. He is working out everything so that it will reap His absolute glory in our lives! And He's ready to fill us and comfort us along the way.
We just have to hold on..
We just have to go to Him..
We just have to trust.
"Do not be afraid, because I have reclaimed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I am with you. When you go through rivers, they will not sweep you away. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned, and the flames will not harm you." - Isaiah 43:2-1
"You have been my help. In the shadow of your wings, I sing joyfully. My soul clings to you. Your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:7-8
What an amazing God it is that we serve.