Every once in a while, instead of doing a bible study I like to just open my Bible and see where it lands. The Lord had been tugging on my heart last night so before I went to bed, I opened my bible and it opened to Daniel - more specifically, the story of Daniel in the Den of Lions.

I know that most of you are probably pretty familiar with the story, as am I. The story of Daniel and the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were actually my favorite two bible stories growing up.

As I read through it last night though, something stood out to me more than it ever has before. 

For those of you who aren't familiar with this Bible story, the "schmoop" version is that Daniel is currently one of the top 3 men (presidents) who govern the kingdom. The other two presidents and the satraps all get jealous of Daniel. He's been doing so good that Darius is planning to make him his number one president, ruling over everyone else except for the king. The satraps can't find anything to discredit Daniel within his own life, since he's a pretty clean-living and incorruptible guy. So they devise a plot. The satraps go to Darius and start to kiss up to him. They convince him to sign a document ordering everyone to pray to him and worship him—and only him—for thirty days, or else they'll be thrown into a den full of lions.

Modern day version - Basically if Daniel worships or prays to God then he is quite literally sentenced to a horribly painful and excruciating death. Not a lethal injection or anything humane. He is going to be torn apart, limb by limb, by the jaws of a 420-pound lion. Make that multiple lions. 

Now that I've put that into a little perspective, here's what really just stopped me in my tracks last night and has not once left my mind all day long.

Daniel 6:10 says this,

"Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before."

If I'm being honest, this one verse right here... this exposed something deep within me.

I know that I've hinted at a couple of trials that I experienced during college and how rough it was on me. I'm currently in the middle of writing the second part of my testimony where all will be revealed soon enough.

But for now, all you need to know is that I was at a point where I was drowning and yet again the Lord grabbed my hand and showed me how to start healing again.. but this time the complete way. This time with Him.

I'd be lying if I said that during that healing process I hadn't struggled with shame over the fact that I felt like I let a lot of people down, most importantly the Lord with the way that I responded to the trials I faced and to the pain. I knew that I would face trials in my lifetime, that the rain would come.. but to be honest with you, I wasn't ready when instead of being hit by some rain, that I was hit by an all-out hurricane - extra flooding and tornadoes included.

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I've been writing to you guys about the Lord for a while now. I love the Lord and I've seen Him perform more miracles in 22 years then a lot of people get to see in their lifetime.. and yet,

when it hit... I didn't run to Jesus. 

When the worst day of my entire life happened and my heart broke so violently.. I didn't face it... I ran.

I went numb. 

And when you do that, you're not yourself. When you do that, you're not filling yourself with the Holy Spirit. When you do that, you're not feeling at all. And you're definitely not feeling His love.

Even though I now walk in confidence and thankfulness.. I can't help but read that verse and think, "Holy Crap"

This man knew what was going to happen to him. He heard how he was going to die. This man had just received this terrible news and knew that worshipping his God meant that he would be sentenced to a gruesome, violent death and was experiencing one of the worst days of his life and yet...

the FIRST thing...

the very first thing he does..

He went home, he got down on his knees, and he praised the Lord. 

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I stopped for a moment after I read that and just sat in silence for a second with the Lord.

I would give just about anything to go back to my 19-year-old self who felt nothing but overwhelming pain and tell her what I know now.. to tell her that the Lord loved her.. beg her to run to Him because He would protect her.. that it was so horrible and overwhelming right now but eventually it was going to be alright.. to beg her not to numb herself to the pain.. not to drink it away.. not to run to men to feel anything but the horror she was feeling..

But I can't do that.

I didn't run to the Lord.. and that was the beginning of a long, hard, damaging journey. I've made my mistakes and I so desperately wish I could go back and change the way I reacted because I do live with many regrets.

But the one thing I know about the Lord is that He's never wasted the pain in my lifetime or the mistakes that I've made. I definitely can't go back in time and talk to my 19-year-old self.. but I can talk to you. 

Daniel 6 goes on to say this,

"Then these men went as a group and found Daniel praying and asking God for help. So they went to the king and spoke to him about his royal decree: “Did you not publish a decree that during the next thirty days anyone who prays to any god or human being except to you, Your Majesty, would be thrown into the lions’ den?”

The king answered, “The decree stands—in accordance with the law of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed.”

Then they said to the king, “Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, Your Majesty, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day.” When the king heard this, he was greatly distressed; he was determined to rescue Daniel and made every effort until sundown to save him.

Then the men went as a group to King Darius and said to him, “Remember, Your Majesty, that according to the law of the Medes and Persians no decree or edict that the king issues can be changed.”

So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions’ den. The king said to Daniel, “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!”

A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel’s situation might not be changed. Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep.

At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions’ den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?”

Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.”

The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.

At the king’s command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions’ den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones.

Then King Darius wrote to all the nations and peoples of every language in all the earth:

“May you prosper greatly!

“I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel.

“For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions.”

I'm not sure what each of you is facing right now but what I do know is that I started this blog because I didn't want to talk about the easy things about being a Christian, I wanted to talk about the hard things. The dirty things. The things that people are too afraid to talk about or admit about themselves because they think it will make them look bad.

The problem with that is that we're all going through something. We all have our Lion's Den at some point in our lives.

My moment came and instead of grabbing onto the Lord with all of my might and trusting that He would provide as I was being thrown into the Lion's Den.. I was devoured. Instead of falling onto my knees and praising the Lord that He had me and that He had everything under control, I believed the lie that this was too much to handle, that the Lord wasn't in control and I ran to anything and everything I could to just experience a moment of anything but the pain I was feeling.

I know that some of you may not be experiencing something this overwhelming, and for that, praise JESUS!

But I know that some of you are. 

I know that there are some of you out there who can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that some of you think that this pain is never going to end.. that it feels like weights are literally crushing you to a point that you can't even breathe.. or even get up in the morning. I know that some of you are desperately running and running and running trying to find anything to piece together that brokenness inside of you but no matter where you go or what you do you can't seem to ever be able to ever come up for air. I know that some of you are exhausted and defeated and have gone down paths that you never thought you would and now you feel like there's no going back.. that you're broken and dirty and unworthy of love.. that no one is ever going to want you now.

Believe it or not, I've been there..

And I also know what it's like to have people in your life who seem to affirm all of those things that you've started to believe about yourself...

And even worse, I also know what it's like to have people in your life who prey on them.

Well,

I am here writing to you today because it is too late for me to go back and fix the decisions I made and to reverse 2 years of suffering... but it's not too late for you.

You see,

the truth is that you are overwhelmingly loved and ADORED by an incredible Savior.

Did you catch that? That name Savior? Jesus Christ didn't just die on the cross so that He could just save us once and just be there for the good moment in life. Jesus Christ is called our Savior because that is who He is and what He does! He comes to live with us, walk with us and SAVE us every single day!

And honestly, saving you might not look like magically pulling you out of your situation or instantly healing you! Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes it can. I have definitely experienced both. But sometimes, saving you means that He is holding you, right there in the midst of horror and pain and going before you with MIGHT and POWER to fight on your behalf. Sometimes it means that He is your ANCHOR through the hurricanes and the winds. Sometimes it means being your strength when you feel like you don't have enough to go on. 

" We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." -Hebrews 6:19

When we go through these horrible times, sometimes it is so hard to see through the waves and the rain.. But praise the good Lord that we literally have Him as an immovable anchor that keeps us steady and upright through confusion, pain, doubt, stress, brokenness, shame, embarrassment, you name it!

I finally grabbed on to that anchor after way too long. I spent so much time trying to grab on to so many things that were never created to support me or fulfill me or to keep me from drowning. It's easy to do right? The problem was, it left me crushed.. over and over again. It left me empty.. and it left me needing a hell of a lot more counseling than I would've ever needed if I had just stepped out in faith and grabbed on tight to the God who I know and trust and love and who loves you and me so deeply that He literally DIED so that you could take his hand during times like these!

PLEASE, don't be like me.

Run and find shelter in the arms of our incredible Savior who has literally wept alongside you every single time that you have wept.. the same God who longs to embrace you, who longs to love on you, who desires nothing more than to tend to your heart and to protect it in the way that only He can!

No amount of alcohol, drug, no boy, no girl, no job, no eating disorder, no amount of working out, no amount of eating, no amount of money, no accomplishment, NOTHING in this world will ever fully satisfy that ache in your heart and that void inside of you.. no matter where you run you will always be left more defeated and more desperate to find something else to give you a momentary relief when the only person who will ever be able to fully heal you and satisfy that ache inside of you is RIGHT in front of you ready to embrace you..

And his name is Jesus.

 No other name. No other name provides what He can.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Matthew 11:28-30

Tonight I ask you to take a leap of faith.

..and to run to safety instead of running to your defeat the way that I did.

Whatever it is that you're facing tonight, you can rest assured that the Lord has everything under control.. that when you run to Him and trust Him, that He won't let you be consumed by the waves. You are cherished, you are treasured, you are loved and chosen. No matter where you've been or what you have done, the Lord looks at you in AWE because you are His love! You are His beautifully crafted creation. All we have to do is run to Him.

Call on Jesus tonight, guys. 

Let Him hold you and love you the way that He created you to be held and loved in the first place.

Let Him be your refuge tonight.

Let Him be your anchor in the storm.

I love you guys

love syd